“What makes the earth feel like hell is our expectation that it ought to feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Hell is hell. Now, stop with the whining and caterwauling.”

“What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.”

“No, it's not fair, but what makes earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven.”

“Anyone who's ever flown London to Sydney, seated next to or anywhere in the proximity of a fussy baby, you'll no doubt fall right into the swing of things in Hell. What with the strangers and crowding and seemingly endless hours of waiting for nothing to happen, for you Hell will feel like one long, nostalgic hit a deja vu. Especially if your in-flight movie was The English Patient. In Hell, whenever the demons announce they're going to treat everyone to a big-name Hollywood movie, don't get too excited because it's always The English Patient, or, unfortunately, The Piano. It's never The Breakfast Club.”

“To hell with housework, our top priority has always been between our legs.”

“Which is worse: Hell or nothing?”

“This is some­thing I’ll go to Hell for.”