“Where every day doesn't start with an alarm clock and end with the television.”

“Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.”

“Every day: Wear sunblock.Cover your gray.Do not go insane.Eat less fats and sugars.Do more sit-ups.Don’t start forgetting stuff.Trim the hair in your ears.Take calcium.Moisturize. Every day.Freeze in time to stay in one place forever.Do not get frigging old.”

“The feeling is less like an ending than just another starting point.”

“You're in Ireland the summer after you left college and you're drinking at a pub near the castle where every day bus loads of English and American tourists come to kiss the Blarney Stone.”

“Where we're at right here is the beginning of the end.”

“The muffled thunder of dialogue comes through the walls, then a chorus of laughter. Then more thunder. Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.”