“You have endless ways you can commit suicide without dying dying.”
“Did you really want to die?""No one commits suicide because they want to die.""Then why do they do it?""Because they want to stop the pain.”
“Committing suicide so as not to be murdered is the worst reason I've ever heard of to die. ”
“Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?”
“I don't so much mind that newspapers are dying - it's watching them commit suicide that pisses me off.”
“Eat my food or die.""If I eat your food I WILL die." He belches before reaching in the fridge for a soda. "Yeah, whatever. Gimme something to commit a slow suicide with.”