“Apparently she used to star in movies.Probably The Bride of Frankenstein. - Simon Mugford”

“We weren't being mauled by lions.We weren't being tortured with bamboo shoots shoved under our fingernails.No Chinese water torture.No burning at the stake.We weren't even being interrogated under bright lights.If only.No, what we endured was a special kind of torture, designed especially for us by The Rat, that made me wish for a bamboo manicure. - Simon Mugford”

“They say 90% of the promotion of a book comes through word of mouth. But you've somehow got to get your book into the hands of those mouths first!”

“W-Who knows? W-Who cares? I'm eating. - Gilbert Miller”

“Dis'll only hurt a little. -Drofgum”

“Jack shook his head. 'Books. What is it with women and books? My sisters were the same. They were always buying books for boys they fancied.'Ellie bent down and picked up the stone and put it on the table. 'It's like sending a love letter without having to write it yourself,' she said softly.”

“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”