“I couldn't practice feng shui if I didn't believe in it, and I wouldn't believe in it if I hadn't seen it work.”

“I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it.”

“Whenever Elliot Norther’s wife was nervous she baked. With the murder of Harriet Mason, her husband’s close colleague at the Faculty, she had been unable to resist a couple of Victoria sponges. During the frenzied press speculation about the identity of the murderer, a Dundee cake had appeared, followed swiftly by a Battenberg and a Lemon Drizzle. Since news of the Wildencrust murder broke, the kitchen, dining room and study had come to resemble the storerooms of an industrial bakery, every surface heaving with the weight of sponge and cream. Yesterday, having at last been overwhelmed by the fear and rumour that swept the town, she had taken herself off to her mother’s house in Hampstead, leaving her husband to soldier on alone. When he had last seen his wife, Elliot Norther noticed that she had been putting the finishing touches to an impressive, triple-tiered wedding cake, beating a batch of royal icing into a sickly paste.”

“Because, as someone who does feng shui for a living, there's no way I could do my feng shui if I was whacked out on crack, because my business is about discerning energy fields, and if you're cracked up, or on pot, or even if you've had too much coffee, the energy field gets all wonky, believe me, I know used to smoke!”

“Sensitive," I tried.Sam translated: "Squishy.""Creative.""Dangerously emo.""Thoughtful.""Feng shui."I laughed so hard I snorted. "How do you get feng shui out of 'thoughtful'?""You know, because in feng shui, you arrange furniture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." Sam shrugged. "To make you calm. Zenlike. Or something. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it all works, besides the thoughtful part.”

“Sam:"Okay, what words would you use then?" I leaned back in the seat, thinking, as Sam looked at me doubtfully. He was right to look doubtful. My head didn't work with words very well- at least not in this abstract, descriptive sort of way.Grace:"Sensitive" I tried.Sam translated: "Squishy"Grace:"Creative"Sam:"Dangerously emo"Grace:"Thoughtful"Sam:"Feng shui."I laughed so hard I snorted.Grace:"How did you get feng shui out of thoughtful?"Sam:"You know, because in feng shui, you arrange funiture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways.”

“sensitive," I tried. Sam translated, "squishy.""creative." "Dangerously Emo.""thoughtful." Feng shui.”