“No heartbreak has grieved me as much to discover, the calorie content of my peanut butter.”

“Peanut butter is my frenemy.”

“I pull away, you pull me back, you grab my hand and wrap me around. What you did not know is—– my heart is my hand.”

“...you’re in my blood spreading through my heart— pumping me numb.”

“Tar-heart baby, let me be, let me shine bright, stop making fun of me. Stop bringing up my past un-funs.”

“I near felt bad he choose to be so evil to me. I am a forgiving woman, but my pen... oh my wicked wicked hormonal she-pen.”

“I know you didn’t feel them, and when you spoke them they stung you. I know because I know you. I forgive because my heart has not the room to deface you.”