“The fact that you just said The Jerk is your favorite movie ever is incredibly fucking hot and I'm pretty sure we need to make out now.”

“We won’t go any further than this, I promise. But please don’t ask me to stop where we already are. I need to watch you and I need to hear you because the fact that I know you’re actually feeling this right now is so fucking amazing. You feel incredible and this feels incredible and please. Just… please.”

“That's pretty hot," he said."Punching me in the eye?""Well, no. Of course not. I meant the idea of getting rough with you is hot. I'm a big fan of full-contact sports.""I'm sure you are.”

“I don’t need to look at your primal, white-hot, mutant pirate eyes, big guy. Just forget that I’m there, and I’ll try to block out the fact that I ever met you. Basically we’ll just act like we do every day.”

“What I'm going to tell you now," he said, "may sound incredible. But then, when you're not accustomed to history, most facts about the past DO seem incredible.”

“The line isn't so black and white anymore. I'm pretty sure gray just became my new favorite color.”