“Well, because you mysteriously came all this way and obviously are not the man I thought you were, why the heck not. So, Phet, if that’s even your real name, tellme, how do I defeat Lokesh?”“It’s simple. Do to him what I did to you.”“What? Talk to him in broken English?”

“That’s what I was thinking about before you came. I was thinking about your mattering business. I feel like, like, how you matter is defined by the things that matter to you. You matter as much as the things that matter to you do. And I got so backwards, trying to make myself matter to him. All this time, there were real things to care about: real, good people who care about me, and this place. It’s so easy to get stuck. You just get caught in being something, being special or cool or whatever, to the point where you don’t even know why you need it; you just think you do.”“You don’t even know why you need to be world-famous; you just think you do.”

“Once upon a time you were a fish. How do you know? Because I was also a fish. You, too? Sure. A long time ago. Anyway, being a fish, you knew how to swim. You were a great swimmer. A champion swimmer, you were. You loved the water. Why? What do you mean, why? Why did I love the water? Because it was your life! And as we talked, I would have let him go one finger at a time, until, without his realizing, he'd be floating without me. Perhaps that is what it means to be a father-to teach your child to live without you.”

“I want you to tell me why you have a pair of broken angel wings on your shoulder. I want you to tell me why you cut your wrists and I want to know why and how you play and sing the way you do, but most of all I want you to tell me what I need to do to be a good enough man for you.”

“My stomach flip-flopped, and I let his words play over in my head. “So, no costume?”Tod shrugged. “Nah. Don’t get me wrong—it’s hot. But it’s hot in an obvious kind of way. It’s not really you.”I frowned. “Because I’m not obviously sexy?”“Because you are obviously sexy. Some girls may need costumes to make guys want them, but I couldn’t possibly want you morethan I do right now, no matter what you were wearing. Or not wearing.”I stared up at him. “How is it possible that every time you open your mouth, I—” fall more in love with you “—melt a little more?”

“I have no idea what he wants. Maybe he needs to remind you to pack your skimpiest swimsuit.” He paused. “Oh, wait, no. That’s me.” He grinned as I rolled my eyes. “Why do I even try to have normal conversations with you?” I asked him. “Because you like talking to me.”