“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!”

“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
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“One cup contains Starbucks coffee, and one holds diarrhea. But which is which? Drink it, and the one that doesn’t make you vomit is the diarrhea.”

“I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first."Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, "When are you planning to return to earth?"Soon as I finish this coffee," say Jesus. "Pretty good, isn't it.”

“Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?”

“No one has yet drunk a cup of honey without mixing it with a cup of gall, a cup of gall needs a cup of honey, they are swallowed the easiest when mixed.”