“There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized.”

“My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.”

“I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”

“If you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst to profound reinvention.”

“A study in the Washington Post says that women havebetter verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.”

“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.”

“Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation.”