“I got no use for a man piss backwards on his friends.”
“If a man does not use his member it grows smaller and smaller until one day he wants to piss and cannot find it.”
“A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”
“Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I am the first man to piss his pants on the moon.”
“‘Ozzy, is it true you got busted for pissing on the Alamo?’ he asked me.‘Yeah,’ I told him. ‘It’s true.’‘Shit, man,’ he said. ‘We piss on it every night on our way home.’”
“A Radical is a man with both feet firmly planted--in the air. A Conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. A Reactionary is a somnambulist walking backwards. A Liberal is a man who uses his legs and his hands at the behest--at the command--of his head.”