“Son, not everbody thinks that life on a cattle ranch in west Texas is the second best thing to dyin and goin to heaven.”

“Some goin' east; and-a some goin' west, Some stand aside to try their best. Some livin' big, but the most is livin' small.They just can't even find no food at all.”

“If I owned hell and west Texas, he said, I do believe I'd sell west Texas and live in hell.”

“He reclined on a delightfully cushioned lounge in the sprawling ranch Paris had rented. In Dallas, Texas, of all places. Promiscuity had decked himself out, too, wearing a Stetson (weird), no shirt (understandable), unfastened jeans (smart) and cowboy boots (weird again). Dude looked ready to rustle cattle or something.”

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

“Always remember, Son, the best boss is the one who bosses the least. Whether it's cattle, or horses, or men; the least government is the best government. ”