“Don't divide me into before and after.”

Courtney Summers

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“When he sees me, he stops.His eyes widen, his face pales.And then before i can say anything, he's holding me.And the worst part is-I want to hold him.But I also want to slap him, hit him. Punch him. Tear out his throat.I want him to tell me what he did to me was a mistake. Some horrible mix-up. . .after I'm done holding him back.”


“You know," she says. "You're still alive. I don't know how many different ways I can try to tell you before it finally sinks in.”


“I don't like you with Becky. She's not a very nice girl.''I don't like you with Jake. He's not me.”


“I feel the space beside me in a way that knows he's been gone a while. and my chest is winding itself tight with everything that means for me. What does that mean for me. I don't move because I don't want to move. I keep my eyes closed because I don't want to open my eyes.But eventually you have to move.Eventually you have to open your eyes.There's no note.”


“I move closer to the glass, as close as I can get to it, begging her, begging Lily, begging Grace, begging all of them to tell me what's left, to just tell me while the girl pushes against the window, turns her tiny hands into tiny fists, begging me for a taste of - life.My life.Lily disappears. Grace. They all leave, they're gone, they will never be here again. But the wright of what they've shown me is settling into my bones. I don't know if I will keep it, but just in this moment, however brief, I feel closer to it that I ever have before...The dead girl presses her face against the glass. She wait for me to tell her what's next.”


“I wonder if, even after all of this, he understands how fragile good things are in my hands and how many times they've been taken away from me.”