“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”

“So you know what your punishment is going to be, sweetheart? I'm going to make love to you. Slowly. Hell, it might take me until tomorrow. I'm going to lose count of how many times you come. And every time you do, I'm going to tell you that I love you. Until you fucking get used to it.”

“... it looked at me as it passed, smiling in that crazy-happy way that dogs do. And I started laughing. I mean, how can you not laugh at a dog running on the beach? But I was also kind of crying, too. Laughing and crying simultaneously hurts. It hurts and it's confusing.”

“There is a way to look at the past. Don't hide from it. It will not catch you if you don't repeat it.”

“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”

“Hot damn, Wip. We’ve got a stone-cold fox on our hands.” Willa flipped Ginger the bird without looking away from the full-length mirror. “This touching family sitcom moment brought to you by the letters F and U.”

“Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are perserving your fat cells with diet soda”