“114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.”

“People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.”

“I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.”

“Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.”

“There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.”

“It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.”

“Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.”