“I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”

“She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women.”

“There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.”

“Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.”

“I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane.”

“I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.”

“Its like a sort of internet Ren Fair. Its like Dungeons & Dragons but for cool people who have got friends.”