“I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.”

“Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.”

“I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs. "Listen," she said, not unkindly, "up until now I would say that ninety-nine percent of all the narcotics you have taken in your life you bought from guys you didn't know, in bathrooms or on street corners, something like that. Correct?"I nodded."Well these guys could have been selling you salt or strychnine. They didn't care. They wanted your money. I don't care about your money, and, unlike your previous suppliers, I went to college to study just the right drugs to give to people like you in order to help you get better. So, bearing all that in mind ... Take the fucking drugs!"I took the drugs.”

“I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.”

“Ros was dead.He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall.”

“This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it”

“I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.”