“Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.”

“There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.”

“I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”

“I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.”

“I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free! ”

“People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.”

“I'm always a bit shy around evil people...”