“Fiction is hardly ever fiction.”

“When you name your child after a grotesque gigantic creature known for slaughtering hundreds of innocents for the sole purpose of entertainment (okay so they were illegal immigrants who entered his realm) you must have a slight idea how that would turn out.”

“Being a vampire is no more fun than being a human I assure you.”

“Turning into a vampire is like signing a supernatural contract and like any contract, there are clauses.And there is the fine print.”

“You don’t know what year it is?” “Kind of a dull question to ask someone if I did, isn’t it?”

“Are you going to drink my blood?” he wanted to know. I think I had expected him to be a little more afraid of me and his casual tone was a tad bit frustrating to my ego. “Well, I was planning on it, yes.”

“If you think the hangover from tequila shots is bad, wait till you’ve had junkie blood.”