“I rather like the fact that women are so into vampires though. I suppose if it wasn’t for Sparkly the neighborhood vampire that would not have been possible.”
“I doubted vampire stuff would work on my disembodied father. He might have been a soulless bastard, but he was not an actual vampire.”
“I ran straight into the wooden fence at the foot of the field. I was lucky that it had been a rail fence, rather than a barbed wire, or I would have shredded myself into vampire linguine.”
“If all it took to become vampire was to be bitten by one, then the world would have been overrun with vampires millennia ago.”
“Now, I bought us a movie to watch, the one that has sparkly vampires in it.”
“If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock . . .”