“If you think the hangover from tequila shots is bad, wait till you’ve had junkie blood.”

“Are you going to drink my blood?” he wanted to know. I think I had expected him to be a little more afraid of me and his casual tone was a tad bit frustrating to my ego. “Well, I was planning on it, yes.”

“I want you to do your vampire slayer thing and get the girl from the bad guys.”

“It is when you see sparkling vampires on television, that you realize just how much the world has changed.”

“Being a vampire is no more fun than being a human I assure you.”

“Go save the princess right now. You can save the world later.”

“When you name your child after a grotesque gigantic creature known for slaughtering hundreds of innocents for the sole purpose of entertainment (okay so they were illegal immigrants who entered his realm) you must have a slight idea how that would turn out.”