“It is when you see sparkling vampires on television, that you realize just how much the world has changed.”

“Being a vampire is no more fun than being a human I assure you.”

“I want you to do your vampire slayer thing and get the girl from the bad guys.”

“Humans, because they learn more about their predator and vampires because they wouldn’t have to go into lengthy speeches about their kind when they are doing their predator bit.”

“I rather like the fact that women are so into vampires though. I suppose if it wasn’t for Sparkly the neighborhood vampire that would not have been possible.”

“Rodney is fifty four and he has some mental disease where they become all paranoid. Granted he spent his life as a vampire slayer which calls for a bit of paranoia but Rodney does sometimes overdo the whole thing.”

“When you name your child after a grotesque gigantic creature known for slaughtering hundreds of innocents for the sole purpose of entertainment (okay so they were illegal immigrants who entered his realm) you must have a slight idea how that would turn out.”