“When you name your child after a grotesque gigantic creature known for slaughtering hundreds of innocents for the sole purpose of entertainment (okay so they were illegal immigrants who entered his realm) you must have a slight idea how that would turn out.”

“It is when you see sparkling vampires on television, that you realize just how much the world has changed.”

“I rather like the fact that women are so into vampires though. I suppose if it wasn’t for Sparkly the neighborhood vampire that would not have been possible.”

“I want you to do your vampire slayer thing and get the girl from the bad guys.”

“Are you going to drink my blood?” he wanted to know. I think I had expected him to be a little more afraid of me and his casual tone was a tad bit frustrating to my ego. “Well, I was planning on it, yes.”

“Turning into a vampire is like signing a supernatural contract and like any contract, there are clauses.And there is the fine print.”

“Humans, because they learn more about their predator and vampires because they wouldn’t have to go into lengthy speeches about their kind when they are doing their predator bit.”