“A lot of people seem nice when you first meet them. Then later you find out that they are evil villains who plan to take over the world.”
“If you're going to break the rules, you might as well break them correctly.”
“Do stupid stuff and even stupider suff will happen to you.”
“If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager”
“In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat.”
“...baseball freely admits that the sport--like civilized society--is crawling with bums.”
“footnote:"With all due respect" is grown-up talk for "I think you're stupid.”