“How come you're always so mean? --Howie Katelnikof”

“How come when you're feeling good like this, something always happens to wreck it all? How come?”

“There's always a parade, Howie. When it's something you can't ever join but only watch, then it's a parade”

“Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.”

“...called nine-one-one," Howie was saying, "and then I heard something in the alleyway, so I went back there and" --Howie coughed-- "and valiantly attacked his knife with my guts, to no avail.""Did you get a good look at him? Could you describe him?"Howie smiled wanly. "Yeah. He was about yay long" --he held up his hands, four inches apart-- "thin, made of steel. Pointy. Sharp.”

“You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life”