“If you are like most people, then like most people, you don't know you're like most people.”

“Arthritic toothless people who love orgasms are more likely to reproduce than are limber, toothy people who do not.”

“Most of us appear to believe that we are more athletic, intelligent, organized, ethical, logical, interesting, open-minded, and healthy-not to mention more attractive-than the average person.”

“People want to be happy, and all the other things they want are typically meant to be a means to that end.”

“The things we do when we expect our lives to continue are naturally and properly different than the things we might do if we expected them to end abruptly. We go easy on the lard and tobacco, smile dutifully at yet another of our supervisor's witless jokes, read books like this one when we could be wearing paper hats and eating pistachio macaroons in the bathtub, and we do each of these things in the charitable service of the people we will soon become.”

“Research suggests that people are typically unaware of the reasons why they are doing what they are doing, but when asked for a reason, they readily supply one.”

“-Most people would say that she's beautiful.-That's because she's been with most people.”