“in flow, the relationship between what a person had to do and what he could do was perfect. The challenge wasn't too easy.Nor was it too difficult. It was a notch or two beyond his current abilities, which stretched the body and mind in a way that made the effort itselfthe most delicious reward. That balance produced a degree of focus and satisfaction that easily surpassed other, more quotidian,experiences. In flow, people lived so deeply in the moment, and felt so utterly in control, that their sense of time, place, and even self meltedaway. They were autonomous, of course. But more than that, they were engaged.”

“Our prayers for others flow more easily than those for ourselves. This shows we are made to live by charity.”

“She had always thought that if only people could communicate mind-to-mind, eliminating the ambiguities of language, then understanding would be perfect and there'd be no more needless conflicts. Instead she had discovered that rather than magnifying differences between people, language might just as easily soften them, minimize them, smooth things over so that people could get along even though they really didn't understand each other. The illusion of comprehension allowed people to think they were more alike than they really were. Maybe language was better.”

“He tried to stand perfectly still and relinquish control, so she could do whatever she wanted with him, and he just about cried.She felt so amazing wrapped around him. Strange and yet familiar. Brilliant. Too vibrant and frightening to explore with anything other than his body.”

“When was the last time you were so completely engaged and absorbed by your work that all of a sudden you looked up and said, "I can't believe it-five hours couldn't have passed!" This is what psychologists are calling "flow." When you achieve a state of flow, you feel a sensation of confidence, of being in control, of being engaged and focused. Flow is achieved when your work is performed in sync with your aptitudes and values.”

“I wasn't sure Lorraine and others like her-ones who were so despairing of marriage, ones who were so sure their expectations could never be met-understood that it was these small moments of caretaking that meant the most, that forged the real relationship. The way one pulled the blanket over the sleeping other, the way one prepared a snack for oneself, but made enough to share. Such moments made for the team of two, which made for one's sword and shield.”