“Cake is for the weak,” Mom always says. Funny, I thought it was for birthdays.”

“I mean it. I know Stacy thinks just because you're shy, she can step all over you, but that's B.S.”

“Helen Sustained many falls throughout her life. But as you can see, she steps right up and keeps on going. Falling to her is as natural as sneezing to us”

“If you believe in yourself that is all that matters. Set your own limitations. Don’t let others do that for you.”

“She wasn't on heroin then, but she was a mess. I thought I was going to put Humpty Dumpty back together and turn her into a princess. Instead, she turned into scrambled eggs, and always was”

“Love can do funny things to you. It can make you happy; it can make you sad. It can even make you downright miserable.”

“There's no way to tell if Ryan Gosling is actually a feminist; feminism is a serious business, and something you have to come to on your own terms. He hasn't actually said anything in this book. But he is charming, talented, and intelligent; he has said some things in the media that can be construed as feminist. He loves his mom and takes ballet. He has nice things to say about the women he dates. It's not too far-fetched, right?”