“But recalling how my ex had nasty BO after track practice never made me feel better. It seemed disingenuous to hold things against him that before I readily accepted as the price of love.”

“I remember another thing Cosmo said. It typically takes half the time you’re dating a guy to fall out of love with him. My ex and I were together almost ten months before he admitted over the holidays that he’d fallen out of love with me, so by that measure I should’ve been cured weeks ago. But once you’ve anticipated spending forever with someone, I’m not convinced you can ever feel complete after being uncoupled. I think you just learn to live without the person. Like when someone dies, you don’t stop loving them just because they’re not around to love you back anymore. Breakups truly are a kind of death.”

“Please don’t hate you??!! I hate that I love you. Loving you made me waste a year of my life. Lovingyou made me be passionate about nothing but you. Loving you made me take risks I never would haveotherwise. Loving you made me give it up to you. Loving you made me neglect my parents and Amy.Loving you made me not care that my grandma just died. Loving you made me turn out bitter andhopeless like her. Loving you made me hate myself for being dumped by you. Loving you made medeluded, irrational, inconsiderate, and a liar. And because I love you, you’re always going to haunt me.”

“Pain was my tie to a past that a part of me wanted to hold on to. The more I hurt, the more I knew I loved, and that felt like a good thing.”

“I do. I still love him so much. And I feel so worthless because he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“One of the pitfalls of having an ex-boyfriend is that people still pair you together in their memories, and sooner or later someone’s bound to mention him. And now that it has happened . . . I can’t say I feel nothing. I don’t think it’s possible to get royally dumped by the only boy I’ve ever done it with, let alone loved, and then feel nothing when he’s brought up in conversation.”

“I’m positive I wouldn’t consider having sex with Guy if I hadn’t already had sex beforehand. I always knew I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and who loved me, which it was . . . but shouldn’t I want that for everytime? I disagree with what Amy said about how once you go all the way, you can’t go back to “everything but.” But now that I have done it, it doesn’t seem nearly as big a deal to do it again.”