“But when I gave bl0w jobs to my ex, I secretly hated it. What’s pleasant about sucking on a stiff, veiny appendage that spurts pee and sperm?”

“What makes you think it was your sperm? My sperm is obviously the dominant sperm. My sperm told your sperm to get to the back of line. The boy will have black hair and green eyes.”Sam shook his head. “I bet my sperm listens to your sperm just about as good as I listen to you. My sperm is also very impatient. It ran to that egg. Little Sam is gonna be a handful.”

“Ugh. I was going for ‘crazy ex filled with hate" not "isn’t she cute when she’s mad?”

“I always started a job with the feeling that I'd soon quit or be fired, and this gave ma a relaxex manner that was mistaken for intelligence or some secret power.”

“I hate when people do this. I hate when people hide their cards to feel secret and strong. That's no way of dealing with anything.”

“Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate. ”