“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
”

“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
”

“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
”

“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.

”

“In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.
”

“I make love like never, only less often.
”