“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.
”

“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
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“I make love like never, only less often.
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“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
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“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).
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“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
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“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
”