“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
”

“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
”

“I make love like never, only less often.
”

“We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
”

“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.
”

“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
”

“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.

”