“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.
”

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
”

“My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me.
”

“My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some.
”

“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
”

“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.
”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
”