“My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some.
”

“My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me.
”

“I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).
”

“I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
”

“I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?
”

“Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen.
”