“The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there.
”

“Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
”

“I make love like never, only less often.
”

“Love is meant to be sipped, rather than chugged, like a glass of wine you drink strait from the bottle.
”

“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.
”

“I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.”

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
”