“But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.”

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”

“If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.”

“A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it.It was fun while it lasted.”

“Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat."Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. "So, she was angry?"He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.”

“You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.”

“He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.”