“Dear Santa, WTF...”

“Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte”

“He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.”

“Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.”

“I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.”

“That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.”“You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice.“Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize youknew that.”

“Hello?" I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.”