“Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!”

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?”

“Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.”

“Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?” “He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you’re interested”

“Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.”

“After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.”