“Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers”

“That boy needs a hobby.""Stalking is a hobby.""So is serial killing.”

“She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.”

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”

“I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.”

“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.”

“Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.”