“He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.”

“She looked at me, confused. “He hardly knew me. My parents dated and got married before we knew what happened. Let’s just say we were notbrought into the loop on that decision.”“That’s weird. I wasn’t brought into the loop with my parents’ marriage either.”“Really? How old were you?”“Twelve months.”She giggled. “I can’t imagine why they didn’t ask your opinion.”

“He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked."You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator.”

“I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing”

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter."What?""You're naked.""I'm not naked.""I'm blind.""You're not blind. I'm wearing pants.""Oh." That was embarrassing.”

“I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI]."Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?""Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants.""Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked."Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake.""Yeah, but is that really the point?""Duh.”

“While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.”