“If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.”

“She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.”

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”

“Are you using that handbag that has the word fuck written all over it again? I warned you about taking that out in public.”

“But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - "Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.”

“I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.”

“I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding."I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?”