“She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.”

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”

“You totally need to watch the news.""Can't.""Why?""It's too depressing.""Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”

“Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers”

“I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.”

“But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - "Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.”

“They were back. The demons in all their glory. And they had a plan. I made plans sometimes, too, but they rarely involved world domination. Hot dogs on a grill, maybe. Tequila.”