“This place is like crazy on crackers.”

“I had a soft spot for crazy people.”

“...But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I’d suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.”

“Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.”

“Oh- hey, there," he said. He was shorter than me, pudgy with salt-and-pepper hair that always seemed to be in need of a good conditioning. And he always wore sweatpants and T-shirts that had seen more abuse than narcotics. But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I'd suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.”

“She's like a hurricane on crystal meth.”

“We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.:Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.”