“While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.”

“The realization that Garrett actually had a mother kind of disturbed me. But only for about twelve seconds. I rarely held thoughts in my head any longer than twelve seconds. Damn my ADD.”

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”

“A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it.It was fun while it lasted.”

“I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.”

“My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth tome, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on thematter. Denise and I never really clicked.”