“I once knew a man who stole a Ferris Wheel...”

“I know a man who once stole a Ferris-wheel”

“Who shot him? I asked.The grey man scratched the back of his neck and said: Somebody with a gun.”

“That's wonderful. I do like a man that tells you right out he’s looking out for himself. Don’t we all? I don’t trust a man that says he’s not. And the man that’s telling the truth when he says he’s not I distrust most of all, because he’s and ass and an ass that’s going contrary to the laws of nature.”

“I distrust a man that says when. If he's got to be careful not to drink to much it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.”

“To get what he wanted, a man had to give other people what they wanted.”

“If the Old Man said something was so, then it probably was, because he was one of these cautious babies who'll look out the window at a cloudburst and say, "It seems to be raining," on the off-chance that somebody's pouring water off the roof.”