“Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a real soft spot for his ma, and was truly sorry for the time he’d marooned her.”

“He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that the reason he’d gone to sea in the first place was that he had never really liked his beloved wife.”

“If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.”

“That is the Wasp, yes. But it was captured by Black Stache, and he’s coming for this ship now.”“And how do you know that?” asked Slank. “Did a seagull tell you?” This brought chuckles from the crew.Something like that, thought Peter.”

“I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet,so I took his shoes.”

“There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact words. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.”

“Which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.”