“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. ”

“While you are so busy trying to make yourself humble,many are persistently and quietly promoting themselves.”

“Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”

“A love of nature keeps no factories busy.”

“For a century, environmentalism has divided itself into warring camps: conservationists versus preservationists.... The struggle pits those who would meddle with nature against those who would leave it be.... The only sensible way forward lies in a melding of the two philosophies. If nature has grown artificial, then restoring wilderness requires human intervention. We must manage nature in order to leave it alone.”

“next week we have a bunch of horror writers coming from all over the world. That'll be one whole week, fully catered, and pre-paid bar. Those horror writers drink like fshes. Just their beer bill's gonna pay for the upkeep of this place for six months. Motel business is a great business to be in, my boy.”