“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”

“I don’t have much of a life now, and from what I’m told I’ll have even less where I’m going. If there’s something wonderful on this ship, I want to know what it is. This is my only chance.”-Peter”

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”

“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.”

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ”

“Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.”

“Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.”