“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from someone else's plate.”

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

“If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you’ll notice two things about them: 1. They all had editors. 2. They are all dead. Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that editors are fatal.”

“You might have mentioned this to me Molly,” said Leonard. “The fact that there are hostile natives on the island.”“I forgot,” said Molly.“You forgot?” said Leonard.“There’s been a lot happening,” said Molly.”

“You should not confuse your career with your life.”

“Someone was tapping on the window.”

“If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.”